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This assignment is an exploration of the concepts of interpersonal communication in the 2008 movie Fireproof by Stephene Kendrick & David Nixon. Apparently, this exploration is geared towards getting a deeper understanding of the EMC equation. After watching the movie, I found a degenerative communication spiral in two families of the same family. As in, the family of a father, a mother, and their son, and in the family of the son and his wife. Let me explain. First, almost the entire plot of the movie is based on the degenerative communication spiral between a husband, Mr. Caleb Holt, the decorated firefighter, and his wife, Catherine. Apparently, the two individuals are still young in their marriage. But like most young marriages, they start facing marital problems which quickly results in a strained relationship. Within a short time, the interpersonal communication between then starts to degenerate to the extent that Catherine asks Caleb for a divorce. Noticing the threat his marriage is in, Caleb goes to his devout father, Mr. John, for some wisdom. The father hands him “The love Dare”, self-help books are written on Christian principles. John tells his son to read and practice for 40 days, what is contained in that book because it is the same book that helped save his own marriage when it was at the risk of collapsing. Caleb goes home and embarks on the mission to save his marriage. Of course the first few days of practice did not seem to yield any results but after practicing it to the end, he can restore his marriage and renew their marriage vows with his wife in church. The another instance when there was degenerative communication spiral is when Mr. John, Caleb’s father almost lost his family to divorce. Apparently, John was the one in the wrong all along, but his wife prayed and practiced what is written in the christian book, which John gave his son Caleb to act as his guide in saving his marriage. The self-disclosure role played an important role in making Caleb understand that it was the book that his mother had written that had helped save his marriage. Also, the disclosure put things into perspective for Caleb because he finally understood and felt ashamed of himself for hating his mother all along thinking she was the initial cause of the marital trouble that befell the family when in the actual sense, she was the one who helped save her marriage from imminent divorce and in extension, Caleb’s marriage.      Apparently, identity was revealed through self-disclosure. John disclosed to his son that “The Love Dare” was documented by Caleb’s mother and by extension his wife. Caleb identified that his mother saved their family and that she was the one wronged by his father but made efforts and finally saved her marriage.

References

Stephene Kendrick & David Nixon.(2008, September 26). Fireproof. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xvRaFrAemFY

Good Evening dee,

Greetings from Vermont. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the interpersonal communication concepts presented within the movie Fireproof. I too am in agreement with you that a clear degenerative spiral existed between Caleb and his wife Katherine. It was clear from the outset that their marriage relationship was in distress and in the process of disintegrating. Katherine had developed a deep level of distrust for her husband and he was defensive towards her in his conversational responses. Stewart (2015) states “When distrust feeds distrust, defensiveness soars and the relationship worsens, and such “runaway relationships” become destructive for all concerned”(p. 404). Having been married for 32 years this September, it is more apparent to me now than ever before, how important it is to effectively communicate with my spouse. Poor communication, like the example demonstrated in the relationship between Caleb and Katherine, as well as in my own at times, blocks access to the deeper relationships we desire according to Petersen (2015).

For any marriage to be successful, one important component is that of being open and honest with your spouse. In doing so, a healthy and strong bond of intimacy is constructed. This form of communication is also a degenerative spiral preventer!

Blessings to you on your journey.

Greg

References:

Fireproof, The movie. (2008). Sherwood Baptist Church of Albany GA.

Burley-Allen, M. (1995). Listening: The forgotten skill (2nd ed.). Canada: John-Wiley & Sons, Inc

Stewart, J. (2012). Bridges not walls: A book about interpersonal communication (11th ed.). New

York, NY: McGraw-Hill.

Thank you for a great review on the movie Fireproof, on Caleb and Catherine marriage.  I also thought that their relationship was in a degenerative spiral but I didn’t demonstrate as well as you did.  I didn’t incorporate the parent’s relationship and the reason why the 40-day challenge was even developed.

The degenerative spiral in Caleb and Catherine marriage started with both blaming the other for the issue in their marriage.  Catherine didn’t help the situation when she turned to Dr. Keller for comfort.  Empathic listening according to Stewart (2015), focuses on the other person’s thoughts and feelings. (p. 193).  This relationship with Dr. Keller didn’t help the situation at home.  Catherine had no need to communicate with her husband because she had someone else she found comfort in.

When Caleb realized the root of their problems was his addiction he put forth more of an effort into the challenge.  The power struggle according Stewart, (2015) two alternatives to viewing disputes as power struggles can help us out of the distributive power dilemma. (363).

When Caleb stopped the power struggle, and became a Christian the relationship improved.  Caleb worked harder in the challenge, therefore giving his marriage a second chance.

Ingrid Jackson

Reference

Stewart, J. (2012). Bridges not walls: A book about interpersonal communication (11th ed.). New York, NY: McGraw-Hill Education. ISBN: 9780073534312.